A complicated look at uncomplicated topics to ameliorate your day.
I read stuff. Headlines more than articles, tweets more than headlines. I see things like “30s are the new 20s” and I don’t read on. Maybe I should have because today I wonder what they would say. I think I could probably predict most of it and maybe that is why I do not read on. Anyway, I was thinking and it got me thinking, about how people have evolved, especially my generation when it comes to marriage, relationships and what not.
Lots of people I know are now married or engaged or even in longer term relationships and it is fantastic. The perceived pressure to get married at a ‘normal’ young age doesn’t really resonate with me but I think it is real for many others. Married, coupla’ kids and a big fat mortgage by 30, sounds about right. Well, it has in the past. It is right for many people and that is a good thing. A great thing, providing copious days of happiness and joy. I am all for it. (here comes the ‘but)
One caveat that I want to express and I do not really hear it much is this (clearly because I don’t read the ‘30 is the new 20’ articles). Marriage is about many things including commitment. Many of us are finding out who we are in our 20s. Who knows what ‘finding out who we are’ means but we are doing it. Not only are our social circles evolving but our professional lives and our world is moving, fast! Where we fit in and how we are meant to attain satisfaction is a constant reach. My point is, we really do not know who we are and committing to someone else with this in mind is dangerous. Essentially, if someone is not getting the person that they signed up for, this can result in you both drifting apart.
Many people have the envious ability to be malleable and flexible to develop and cater to the situation. They are probably able to commit to someone at age 10 and find a way to make it work for 50 years. Good luck if you are one of those. The rest of us, we seek answers and learn many things about ourselves all through our younger years, including our 20s. If you are not comfortable or sure of who you are, then committing to someone at this stage can just result in you just hurting them.
Finding your soul mate when you are young is great. Be spontaneous and calculated when you marry at 21. If you are single and scared at 30, don’t be afraid, you know what you are looking for and who you are. It is a massive advantage. We can all be smitten during the honeymoon phase but commitment is about the long term and if you know want you want, you have the advantage, regardless of your age. This has really turned into a 30s is the new 20s article and I am not sure what to do.