A complicated look at uncomplicated topics to ameliorate your day.
I don’t know whether it is the hurt from the fallout or the love lost. I can’t displace the loss. Whenever I am reminded I feel a sharp and crisp gulp in my throat. There is a punch in the chest followed by a welling of tears. Someone significant and undeniably special walked these streets. I feel as though I am just the welcome mat who is being trampled but I feel privileged to have walked those streets with her too.
Weeks go by without longing but minutes take hours when I’m taken back to those moments shared. It’s a journey worth taking and a pain worth enduring. They say we should treasure the moment but how are we to know it will be gone when it feels endless. The possibility of anything else is impossible and the bond is desire filled with momentum. The adrenalin takes over and rational thought only exists within the passion. I crave. I hope. I wonder. Will there be another? Can it be the same. Does it even matter.
The tears continue to well. The reasonable explanation exists but the heart doesn’t agree. The fight is a long lost one. The scoreboard is final. Time to treasure the seconds and minutes we shared. The days spent entangled in each other’s web. The solace is knowing it happened once so why not again.
The panacea is not stagnant reflection but one small step every block of pavement. The smile you get thinking back and the fresh air that blows reminds us that every step is a step closer. Where to next is unknown. It’s not backwards and it’s not going to repeat. Be alive and ready for the next moment, another that will not define us, but shape our hearts. Mould our hopes and tend to our fears.
She was a strong powerful woman with immaculate posture but she loved wearing t-shirts and drinking beer. Her mind was a step ahead but her heart was right there with me. She spoke with a drawl and smiled with her whole face. She’d been chasing love and was broken, she’d been craving something better and paid an unfair price.