A complicated look at uncomplicated topics to ameliorate your day.
Moving on sucks! Moving on is hard. Letting go is gut wrenching and time consuming. Letting go is difficult and constant. Moving on is common and we waste so much time holding on. Maybe if we look at it a little bit differently we can use it to our advantage.
Moving on is not about controlling our thoughts or dismissing our feelings. We should not be trying to depress or ignore what we feel. The reality is that this is impossible. If you try and stop thinking about someone you care about, you will lose. Generally, they will have been a significant part of your day, week and life. Now they are not. We don’t need to go from 0 to 100 (or perhaps 100 to 0). Moving on and letting go is a process.
Letting go is not aided by feelings of anger or regret. They are normal reactions to emotional times and moments. You know….. The heartbreaking phone call or the realization that it is slipping away. When you feel that frustration about what could have been you are best to remember that it isn’t about winning or losing. This is not a zero sum game. The want/need to call back or get an answer will always result in more damage. When you recognize it is time to move on, it is best to stick to the path of letting go.
Don’t worry about your pride or giving up. It is hard to be rational and unemotional but if you can start moving on when the time is right you can save much more anguish than holding on in the hope of a miracle. You have not been defeated or failed. You are not damaged goods. You are making a choice. It is not an easy choice. It may go against every conscious feeling in your body. When you decide to move on, it will always be the better choice than to hold on.
What now? It is time to remember and cherish the good times. Grab hold of the great things and use them to garner hope. The next time can always be as good as the last time if you let it be. There is no right answer or right person. Don’t lose hope or foster anger. Accept the change, embrace it and start moving on.