A complicated look at uncomplicated topics to ameliorate your day.


When I first set foot on the tropical destination that is Instagram, I was not quite sure what to expect. I call it a tropical destination because you have all kinds of people visiting for short bursts and usually taking away some memories to share with others from their experience.

My initial observations were that a lot of girls take a lot of photos of some seemingly unusual things. I guess I saw things a little bit differently than others did because when I saw some of the things that were being put on there it didn’t seem natural or normal. I was soon to find out that on this tropical island, these tendencies were more common than I would ever imagine.

I will elucidate a few things that I have encountered in my time and I am sure you will be familiar and more than likely a culprit of what I commonly refer to as #ShitGirlsDo.

1. Legs with pool/beach in the background.

I understand that it is logical to want to share enjoyable experiences such as a day by the pool or at the beach. That is fine, but how about getting a picture of someone actually in the water. I am lazy but capable of at least that. I guess legs can look skinny and tanned by the pool and this makes the photo opportunity to hard to resist. #ShitGirlsDo


2. Bathroom Selfie

Men will never fathom the desire for women to attend the ladies room with enough people for a 4x100m relay. What is more difficult to comprehend is why in the bathroom photos are taken in the mirror. I will leave it at that #ShitGirlsDo


3. Lunch

A great looking meal is certainly not to be wasted by not getting a picture of it and sharing, right? I am all for that but some unnamed morons put 4-5 meals a week on Instagram. One a week is probably okay. Any more and it becomes ridiculous. Think about it #ShitGirlsDo

The Five Minute Guide Lunch

4. Pre-exercise mirror shot

The only reason I know it is pre-exercise is that during and after any decent level exercise we look like we are medium-well done. No one wants a photo like that on there so why not get a nice one beforehand in our 2XU get up and Nikes. Allow me to translate…I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW IM EXERCISING. Just exercise and tell me later by looking extra fly when you hit the club. #ShitGirlsDo


5. Duck Face

It is not cute, it is not clever and it certainly is not going to stand the test of time. I do not get the duck face thingy. I give up. #ShitGirlsDo

The Five Minute Guide Pout

6. Inspirational quotes

I love a good quote from time to time. I think every quote should have a great meaning or relevance and if so share away. Once again keep them to a minimum as most people don’t need to be bombarded with how to beat a tough day with chocolate and then if he lies to you he is not worth it and then a play on words with a #SoTrue after it and then that it is cuddle weather outside and so on #ShitGirlsDo


7. Road Trip

Inside a car on the way to the coast is not a good time for a group shot. The seat belts don’t bring out your eyes and the headrests take away from your straightened hair. Wait until you hit the sand and refer to 1. Or be creative and do it on the bonnet, the boot or something! #ShitGirlsDo

The Five Minute Guide Road Trip

8. Over the top comments on other girls photos

This is one of my Hall of Fame #ShitGirlsDo. The amount of times I see the most over the top gestures of kindness from girl to girl is rancid. It never happens anywhere else, especially not in real life because it is too artificial. Why then on Instagram? I get that feeling like when you drink sour milk by accident and realize and you try and spit it out by throwing your tongue at your lips pushing the curdled mixture from your mouth. That or small bits of vomit entering your palette. #ShitGirlsDo


9. Dog Photos

Another top 5 all time #ShitGirlsDo. For some reason half a dozen photos a week of your cute puppy is essential. I think in moderation we can all cope with a few dog shots but otherwise it is just overkill. I need some value from my follow. I am investing in you and all I am getting is a canine. Not Good Enough Ladies! #ShitGirlsDo

The Five Minute Guide Dogs

10. This one I will keep a secret.

If you ask me nicely I will tell you another time.

I am not a cynic by nature but if a Gentleman decided to start doing some of these outrageous and avoidable things they would be lambasted. So why is it okay for chicks to consistently produce some unspeakable and deliberate atrocities? I don’t know.

3 comments on “#ShitGirlsDo

  1. Bek
    October 3, 2013

    Tell me number ten!!!!!!!! ….and if I am a culprit haha ❤ Bek

  2. Pingback: Snapchat vs Instagram |

  3. Pingback: Social Media Manners |

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