A complicated look at uncomplicated topics to ameliorate your day.

Julia Morris

Comedian Julia

Full Frontal, Thank God You’re Here, In Melbourne Tonight, Spicks and Specks, Rove, The Edinburgh Comedy Festival, the Melbourne Comedy Festival. If there is a forum in which to be funny, there is no doubt that Comedian Julia has tried it, and made you laugh whilst doing so.

Comedian Julia has a knack of observing life, finding the idiosyncrasies and then laughing with you about them. She’s occasionally brash, a little bit loud and a lot of bit funny. Yes. Comedian Julia is a winner.

Reality Julia

On It Takes Two, Reality Julia not only managed to sing, she managed to sing well enough not to be mistaken for a bunch of stray cats, well enough to win the whole darn competition and well enough to look like she was keeping her composure whilst standing next to the nothing but impressive and divinely operatic David Hobson. And she raised a pile of money whilst she was at it, which she donated to charity.

Then, on Celebrity Apprentice, Reality Julia not only managed to charm, manipulate and ultimately win over her fellow contestants including Jason Coleman, Jesinta Campbell and Shane Crawford, but more importantly, she managed to win over the bloke in charge. The big boss of Yellow Brick Road and the man with all the power, the rather good looking, Mark Bouris. And she raised another pile of money whilst she was as it, which she also donated to charity.

Yes. Reality Julia is a winner.

Drama Julia

The 5 Minute Guide Julia Morris House Husbands

In House Husbands, Julia is the bomb. She is the third wife of Gary Sweet’s character (not to be confused with his real life list of wives, which is equally expansive), a common sense hands on practical nursey type who doesn’t take shit from anyone and keeps the plot line moving along. She is the lynchpin du jour and frequently is an audience favourite. Nothing much ever phases her character and she slips seamlessly into the genre, dropping her comedy and singing chops for a role with a bit more meat, and doing it effortlessly.

In fact, she’s so good at the role that Drama Julia feels like someone you know, or even better, someone you’d like to be. Yes. Drama Julia is a winner.

Presenter Julia

It is here that Julia’s vast talents fall over. Or perhaps they just go on holiday. Or even maybe they just don’t exist. Because it is here that Julia becomes Presenter Julia, the human foghorn.

Yes ladies and gents, as anyone that has watched more than three minutes of Australia’s Got Talent in 2013  will  know, Presenter Julia seems to have a very bad case of tinnitus or a very insatiable need to be a human loudspeaker.

The 5 Minute Guide Julia Morris AGT

It seems the minute that Julia is placed in a presenting role, she feels the NEED, to SCREEEEAM, every SECCCCCCOND word DRAMATTICAAAAALLLLY! When introducing the hosts for the show in the pilot episode, it is suspected that she had small, very hot object inserted in her rear end just as she was about to say hosts name. Such was the enthusiasm and sheer volume of her voice when she did.

And as the episodes roll on, Presenter Julia seems to have developed a need to look wide eyed and at close range into the camera, whilst making faces that suggest those small, very hot objects are once again almost near her rear end.

Considering Julia is, in so many other facets of her performing life, such a resounding success there really is no other plausible explanation for this behaviour. No. Presenter Julia is not a winner. But yes, that’s ok, because at least she distracts us from the absolute drivel that is otherwise occurring on that show.

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September 2013

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